Pretzel Boy
by Miauz
Summary: Vegeta has gotten into a bag of pretzels... He begins to act very strangely. This is a side of her husband Bulma has never seen before.


_The explanation for this story: This was written in the wee hours of the morning, probably while I was pulling an all-nighter... I hope you enjoy it! ^_^_

  


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Bulma woke up to find that she was alone in the bed. She looked to the pillow beside her. No sign of being slept on except for a small puddle of drool. It was very unlike her husband to be awake before her. Bulma glanced at the alarm clock; no, she hadn't slept in late. 

  


"He better not be out training with Trunks this morning," she said to herself as she rolled out of bed and slipped into her robe. 

  


"He knows that we are going to the beach today for a picnic with Goku and Chi-chi. Uuuuugggh! Where is that man?" 

  


Bulma walked to the bathroom, showered, did her hair, and applied her make-up. Humming her favourite song, Bulma was oblivious to the clanging of pots and pans downstairs in the kitchen. Returning to her bedroom she opened the closet to find that the sundress she had picked out for the occasion was not hanging on its coat hanger. She knelt down on all fours, but the garment was not on the floor. "Oh well." Bulma didn't think anything of it and grabbed a different one. 

  


She glanced at the alarm clock for the second time that morning; it was still much earlier than her Saiya-jin husband would have awoken from his slumber. 

  


"Fine, if he is not at home then he just isn't going to the beach." Bulma marched down the stairs. 

  


"Eeeeek!!" Bulma jumped up when her feet touched water. "Water?" She looked at her feet, she was standing ankle deep in water. 

  


"Great! Just what I need, a flood!" 

  


"Is that you dear?" a squeeky, high-pitched yet familiar voice called out from the kitchen, followed by a loud bang. 

  


Bulma ran around the corner to the kitchen. She stopped in the doorway and just stared in confusion and anger. 

  


Before her, with a pot on his head, Vegeta sat cross-legged in the now deeper water, holding a bag of pretzels in his lap. He was wearing the missing sundress. 

  


"Good morning! Would you like a pretzel?" he asked in the same, squeaky voice. When she didn't respond, he continued. 

  


"No? How about a piece of cheese?" Vegeta stood up and picked up a block of cheese that was floating in the overflowing sink. 

  


Now seeing the faucet running, Bulma reached over and turned it off. She glared at her husband. 

  


"No?" He dropped the cheese. "How about a pretzel?" he offered the bag again. "Never mind, you don't get one; they are all mine!" He turned around and stomped off. 

  


Bulma picked up the cheese. 

  


"Argggg!!" First she was angry, now she was concerned for her husband. The only reason why he would wake up early, wear her dress and flood the kitchen was if something was wrong with him. She picked up the phone and dialed Chi-chi's number to tell her the picnic was off, but the answering machine clicked on. 

  


"Great!" Bulma slammed the receiver down. 

  


She rubbed her head and moaned; a head ache was beginning to form. Looking out the window, she saw a figure laying in the grass next to a bag of pretzels. The pretzels! She had to get them away from him. 

  


Bulma ran out of the house to actually see what Vegeta was doing. He was lying on his stomach with his 

flailing arms reached forward and his legs kicking. "What are you doing?!!" she demanded. "Give me that bag of pretzels!!" 

  


"No!" He resumed what appeared to swimming on the lawn. 

  


"Get up before the neighbours see you here!!" Bulma reached for the bag. 

  


"Shut-up woman! Let me swim in my bag of pretzels!" He greedily snatched the plastic bag. 

  


A sound overhead caught their attention. Goku and Chi-chi descended to the ground on the flying nimbus. 

  


  


"Hi Bulma! Hi Vegeta!" Goku greeted cheerfully. "Vegeta you lost something?" 

  


"No! Go away! No one invited you here!" Vegeta snarled and stood up. 

  


"Yeah, Bulma did... hey! Nice dress!" Goku suddenly noticed the pink, flowered sundress. 

  


Vegeta looked down as if he saw the dress for the first time. Humiliated, he hugged the bag and flew off. 

  


"Wow! He's fast!" Goku commented. 

  


"Do you mind explaining?" Chi-chi asked, staring at Bulma. 

  


Bulma explained everything that had happened since she woke up while they sat on the kitchen table, sipping coffee. The room was filled with water up to the seats of the chairs. Eventually they decided to go on with their trip to the beach so Bulma could relax after the eventful morning. Vegeta had not returned and they didn't expect him to anytime soon. 

  


* * * 

  


The sun was hot and Goku devoured almost the entire picnic lunch that Bulma and Chi-chi prepared together, avoiding the cheese. 

  


Bulma lay down and relaxed, with the sand between her toes. She had nearly forgotten her experience that morning when she heard a nearby kid say "Mommy! There's a scary man in the water!" 

  


Bulma sat up in an instant. Sitting crossed-legged in the shallow water, Vegeta clutched a bag of pretzels. Bulma, relieved to see her husband safe and sound sat and watched as an adorable little girl approached him. 

  


"Hi!" she greeted him. 

  


"Go away!" 

  


"Do you want to play house?" 

  


"Go away!" 

  


"I don't have anyone else to play with." 

  


"Go away!" 

  


"You can play with my Sally doll!" 

  


"Go awa--Sally doll?" 

  


"Yes." 

  


"Ok!" 

  


The little girl pulled out a doll with blue hair and handed it to him. "I will be the mommy and you will be the daddy." 

  


Vegeta cradled the doll in his arms. 

  


"We can go shopping as a family!" 

  


"I love shopping!" Vegeta exclaimed. 

  


"Great!" The little girl picked up a shell. "I bought a shell!" 

  


Vegeta picked up a crab but tossed it after it pinched his thumb. 

  


"Now it's time for dinner!" The little girl reached for the bag of pretzels. 

  


"NO!!!" Vegeta snatched the bag. "No one touches the pretzels!!" and he stormed off, leaving the girl with her doll. Furiously, he flew off and out of sight. 

  


* * * 

  


When Bulma returned home after staying for tea at Goku and Chi-chi's house, Vegeta lay fast asleep on the floating couch. He was curled up with a wide grin across his face. The pretzel bag was floating away 

and to Bulma's relief, it was empty. 

  


Finally, the really strange experience was over. Vegeta would wake up totally humiliated and angry as ever. Bulma silently prayed that her husband would never touch a pretzel again.

  


  


  


  



End file.
